so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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