Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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