You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
