on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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