If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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