dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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