She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm like, not good at living.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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