and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
