Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
