plz talk dirty to me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
