Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
