Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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