My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
