I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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