areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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