Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
