I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
