and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
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