I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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