Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
