Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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