So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
