bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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