if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm always down for nudity.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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