you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize