I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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