theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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