We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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