I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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