wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
