we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
