My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
