So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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