i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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