I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
soo... how was my night?
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