You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
