'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
