i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
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Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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