The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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