We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
