He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
