addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
