Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
