I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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