Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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