And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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