He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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