No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
