dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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