I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Me too!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
