Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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