Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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