Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
