Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
