Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
