You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
