Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah