I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
