Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.