idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
