nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
