What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize