You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
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I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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