I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
