i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
