Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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